Unfortunately, the more complex our fantasies are, the harder it is to bring them to fruition. So one of the things you need to ask yourself is, would I be satisfied with a lesser fantasy? Which parts of your fantasy are most important to you? Can you satisfy some of your fantasies in one way, and other parts in other ways? For instance, could you enjoy the bisexual portion of your fantasy separately from being under the control of a woman?

As a white man, could you satisfy a portion of your fantasy with a black woman over you? (Sounds hot to me!) Could you indulge in watching others?

Obviously if money is no object, you can hire the supporting personnel!

If the answer to the above questions is “It just wouldn’t do it for me” then you are perhaps best advised to start advertising for the people you want involved. Join groups, ask the members for advice as to which groups they would recommend. Join swingers clubs in your home town or near by. In many of the larger cities there are groups who will act out fantasies for their members.

But to answer your last question, NO, do not get castrated. It will not stop the desires, but it WILL make them impossible to fulfill!

To answer your second to last question, yes, I have heard of fantasies like this. In fact, many cuckolds have similar fantasies, with the stipulation it is their wife as the dominant female. And usually ‘the other male’ is the wife’s lover, either permanent or temporary. So cuckold sites are a potential harvest field for your fantasy!

One other outlet for your fantasies is cyber meetings. That way any one can allow themselves to act out a portion of your fantasy.

And, I find that my stories allow me to explore my fantasies, and I can do it from the comfort of my own home!

Keep us posted, Len (PTP). And feel free to write and publish your fantasies!

Right my beloved readers?

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Danol

Dear Danol,

In one word, the answer to your question is
“Fear”!

We fear that our “nice loving husband” will be
angry with us. We fear that society in general
will find out that we were out (now choose the
word you want to use:) Tom-catting/ cheating/
fucking around/ being a slut/ being untrue/
sleeping around/ whoring/ giving it away/ looking
for love . . . . .

Get the idea? None of those terms are something
that we want associated with our good name.

We fear that our husband will leave us. We fear
that we will screw up our marriage. We fear that
our family would find out. We fear our friends
would say derogatory things about us. We fear
that if we ever were to get a divorce from our
beloved husband, he could use our “infidelity” as
a weapon against us to take advantage, or take
the kids away, or to make us look like fools in
front of our friends.

A woman who does such things has many things
which could come back to bite them in negative
ways.

It is interesting that many societies have and do
allow such outside dalliances. The mistresses,
lovers, and other such women are often an
expected situation in many countries.

We in America have a very hard time with that.
Although the situation is slowly changing, a
woman who has more than one lover is still
castigated in most social circles. It takes a
woman with a strong self-image to overcome those
fears.

As women, we were not raised to consider our sex
drive to be of much importance. In fact, we have
been indoctrinated since childhood to believe it
is our husband/significant other’s sex drive that
is of importance in our marriage. If we allow
ourselves to prioritize our own sex drive, it
flies in the face of what we were taught as
children.

We feel selfish when we decide to “go out and
enjoy our own fulfillment”.

So, if you wish to give your wife/wife-to-be this
gift, makes sure she is crystal clear that you
WANT this for you two, you GIVE her the freedom
to do this, buy and read together Paul Fox’s book
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Mishkab or
mishkab777@yahoo.com “The Truth about Sex”, and
then you sign a legal document that says you are
specifically giving her permission to do this
without recourse.

In this book, Fox details the ACTUAL biblical
(new and old testament) directives regarding sex.
Because most of what we perceive to be
“Christian requirements” are not that at all, but
instead are the lies of the Catholic Church about
what Christian/Jewish sexuality should be, it is
critical to teach her what the Bible really DOES
(and does NOT) say about extra-marital sex in a
marriage.

I have dealt with a number of these
misconceptions in my story series “The Secret
Sacred Rites of the Sybianites”.

In order to enjoy extramarital sex, such as you
seem to yearn for, one must realize that love for
one’s spouse is not tied to your monogamous
marital sexuality. Love and sex are not
codependent. Sex with love is certainly
wonderful, but that act of sex does not have to
be with your beloved spouse.

That being said, I am a firm believer that
honesty is the key here. If one or the other of
you “cheats”, (lets define cheating as having any
relationship outside the marriage in which the
spouse has not given specific permission), then
trust will be shattered, and without that trust,
love cannot flourish.

So, helping your wife to overcome her fear, her
misconceptions about sex and morality, and to
find her own sexual freedom, is a trip down the
search for truth.

I hope you can find this “holy grail” of
sexuality, because once there, it can be very
exciting and very fulfilling, and ever so
rewarding.

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice