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| Life
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For
those of us that sometimes enjoy submission or domination. I have
been a member for 4 years |
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| Giving
Head |
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I have
a real problem with gagging while giving blowjobs or deep-throating.
Any techniques u can suggest on this subject. My partner is very understanding.
He doesn't force it down, lets me go at my own pace. But I still gag.
Please help!!
thank-you,
flirty
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Dear Flirty
I like your nickname! I love to flirt too! I love to use my whole
body as a flirting device. Just as men are prone to accept those special
signals we women give off when we flirt, our mouth also listens to
inherited signals that it must respond to. For instance, when there
is too much saliva in our mouth, the instinctive thing for us to do
is to swallow.
Likewise, when we move food to the back of our tongue, our tongue
and throat instinctively swallows. The tongue starts the wallowing
sequence by moving forward in our mouth, then moves up and back like
a wave coming into the beach as it collects whatever is on it and
moves it toward the back of our mouth. Then the very back of our tongue
relaxes, lowers itself, and the liquid, or food (chewed and properly
wetted) moves on down our happy gullet.
When I was first learning to give BJs, I used to try to lick the bottom
of my man's penis as I suckled. That kept my tongue forward in my
mouth, and stopped my gag reflex.
If you make swallowing motions with your tongue and throat, and keep
your tongue forward, your gag reflex with greatly lesson. This is
because it is the back of the tongue that has the gag reflex built
into it.
The two most important things to do when you are "giving head"
is to make certain that your tongue is forward in your mouth. And
that you swallow, swallow, swallow.
If your mouth thinks it is swallowing food or drink, you will not
gag. But if your mouth thinks something is trying to invade your throat,
it will make you gag. It is an ingrained survival instinct. But you
can overcome it. The back of your tongue rises up and blocks the channel
to your throat.
So, once again, move your tongue forward, . . . . . and swallow, swallow,
swallow!
And the first time you feel his hot semen coat your throat, spurting
out behind your tongue, as it spurts his precious family jewels, you
will feel a thrill of accomplishment like no other!
Watch the look on your man's face as he "conquers your mouth!
GOD! I love that look on my man's face. Half victory, half utter insatiable
lust, and then there is that look of utter love and reverence as he
finishes and shrinks away to the size of a delicious lolly-pop!
Ummmmm, now I'm salivating! I need a nice cock to suck!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
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A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
here
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| Birth
Control Allergies |
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I am a
27yr attractive female in a loving, spiritual, sexual and smart relationship
with my ideal man. My fellow female friends do not converse honestly
and descriptively about sex. I don't know if this is common but I
am so thankful to have discovered you.
From reading your page, many many people thank the heavens you are
doing what you are, and being who you are. I am so turned on by the
woman you are, for I am trying to be as well rounded, mentally and
physically skilled, open minded with love and pleasure, as well as
knowing enjoyment on a generous and fulfilling level. I want to satisfy
my partner very much, esp. since he is so loving.
Thank you for the advice about genital area maintenance. I am going
to take a nice warm bath right now and pluck myself first, then hopefully
have the self confidence to suggest it to him!
I have a question, my birth control pills are making me break out
on my face, only on my chin and they are not just annoying and unattractive,
but painful and irritating. I take low level ortho-tri and have tried
a few brands, this one the most subtle, yet I am hoping this is not
the best and only one available to sensitive skinned women. Is there
specific regimen you do that's low cost and natural for your face
that could possibly reduce? Or do you know of a pill that is better?
You are more in the loop than doctors and gynecologists!
Deni, thank you so much for you...I am going to suggest you to my
people who will also thank God for you!
With humble love
LoveSmart
Dear Love
Please let me know if your lover enjoyed your change in vaginal care.
Did you end up plucking him as well? My lovers actually look forward
to my pubic ministrations after the first time! I adore holding their
stiff cocks and watching them pulse and move as I gently pluck their
hairs. And they always agree that their cocks look great after I am
done! I love watching them strut like peacocks as they watch their
gorgeous stiff penis waggle as they walk back and forth before the
mirror. Giggle.
Regarding birth control, it sounds to me as if you should consult
a Dermatologist and an Allergist regarding which birth control you
should take. Each of our bodies are so unique that a good Allergist
may be just the ticket to solving your consequential acne problem.
Perhaps I should say a few words about selecting doctors. Every doctor
comes with trade offs. The ones that are fresh out of medical school
have lots of book knowledge and have been exposed to the latest and
the greatest technologies and medicines. But the ones with years of
practical experience have something the new young doctor does not,
and that is the experience they have gleaned from screwing up.
Unfortunately, when you go to a doctor, (s)he is "practicing"
medicine. And guess what, we get to be their "Patients"!
So we are supposed to be "patient" while they "practice"
on us. Kind of like our parents while we are learning to play the
piano. We practiced and practiced until we hopefully got it right.
Our parents were patient for years as we hit the wrong notes and made
other mistakes over and over again.
Well, doctors also come in two sexes these days. I have found that
female doctors tend to be better at prescribing for women than male
doctors. Especially in gynecology.
So if I were you, I would find a good female gynecologist that has
been out of medical school for less than five years, and ask them
to help you find the right allergist and dermatologist. Then together
work as a team (of which YOU are the COACH) to seek your ideal solution.
I am proud of you for what you have decided to do with your life.
Being your own person is always the first step to happiness. You seem
to have taken the second step as well, and that is to be a loving
and caring woman. You are definitely headed in the right direction!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
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A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
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| Anal
Sex |
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My husband
of 1 year loves to perform anal. It's like he thrives on it. I enjoy
it but my problem is after we have anal the skin around my anus is
very thin. If I have a bowel movement it will bleed a little. We use
a lot of lube but the skin there is very thin. Is there anyway I can
prevent this from happening?
Angien
Dear Angie,
Anal sex can definitely be pleasurable. But as you have discovered,
it is important to take precautions. Bleeding from your anal tissue
can easily lead to infection.
It is important to both lower the abrasion, and to increase the lubrication
therefore I would suggest the following. Most people use water based
lubricants such as K-Y. These can easily dry out or be displaced during
your carnal activities. I suggest (and use myself) Vaseline for anal
sex. It is petroleum based and stays in place without drying for a
much longer period of time.
Another thing that you can do is decrease the abrasion that occurs
while you have sex. If you do not properly cleanse your rectum before
sex, the fecal material inside you is very abrasive. Proper cleansing
of your anal passage is critical to protecting your rectum and anus.
Use of a condom can certainly protect your skin. However few men like
to use them because they definitely decrease the sensitivity of the
males' penis.
And, most people use latex condoms. But latex condoms will most likely
disintegrate with petroleum based lubricants.
But many people are finding out they are allergic to latex. If you
are, then your husband using a latex condom during anal sex could
exacerbate your rectal problem. If you prefer to use condoms during
anal sex, it is possible to find condoms made from other materials.
Using a condom certainly makes it easier for the man to clean up afterwards!
Another thing to think about is that most men have pubic hair that
continues well onto the base of their penis. Some men shave it off.
The resulting little spikes are very prickly and abrasive to our skin.
Even if they don't shave it off, it will still cause increased wear
and tear on your anal opening as he slams in and out of you.
So, as a part of our sex play, I do the following with my lovers.
I pluck their hairs from the places I don't want them. It is erotic
and fun to do for both of us. But it is best to pluck your lover's
pubic hair in the following way. Get their skin nice and wet and hot,
such as in a nice hot bath or shower. Then stimulate their sex with
your hand and mouth and toys. Once they are nice and hard and horny,
pluck each hair that is on the base of their penis. I suggest that
you also pluck them out at least a half inch from the base of their
cock as well. And trim the rest of their pubic hair so that they are
shorter. Their groin looks much sexier that way, and it stops their
hairs from entering your bum as they enjoy you.
There is also one other important, post sex thing for you to do. There
is a product called Bag Balm. It was originally manufactured for farmers
to put on the udders of cows after milking. It is a wonderful addition
to every medicine cabinet. It is better at helping heal small cuts
and abrasions than anything I know of. Better than Neosporin or any
of the other products I have tried. Put some on your skin around and
inside of your anus after sex. Should you have sustained any harm
there, it will aid in healing, as well as protect you slightly.
I wish you many happy orgasms in your anal activities!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
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A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
here
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| Penis
Size |
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This is probably the
most asked question. Does penis size really matter in really satisfying
your woman and if so what are the sizes what's the best way to work
it ? I'm not saying I don't know how to work it, its just I want to
be better keep things spiced up . The wife and I are kinda having
hard times right now in life so I want to make her happy get the engines
at full steam again. Thanks Deni whatever info- you can help with.
TP2006
PS. if you need my size for reference let me know.
 Dear TP2006,
Penis size, the easiest way to emotionally wound, or put down a man.
Want to you're your man? Attack the size of his penis. So many myths
and so many stories circulating.
So let's talk facts here. And let's tell the WHOLE story.
First, penis size is like every other human characteristic. Human
characteristics are normally charted on a bell curve. Picture the
shape of a bell, like the liberty bell (without the crack!). The higher
the bell-shaped silhouette-line is above the base of the bell, the
larger the percentage of people that it represents at that point.
For instance, let's talk about a bell curve that represents penis
length. The left side of the bell shape represents those men who have
a very short penis. Obviously at some point, there is only one man
with the smallest penis in the world. To my knowledge, that length
is about one quarter inch. Same size as many clitorises. That is where
the left side of the bell curve starts. Then there might be, say,
two men that have the second smallest penis in the world. And perhaps
there are five men with the third smallest.
By the time you get to the center of the curve (the highest part),
half of the men in the world have a shorter penis, and half have a
longer penis. That length, world wide, averages out to about six and
seven eights inches. Yes, this includes all black men too. So there
are lots and lots of men of all colors with this particular penis
length. So that part of the bell curve is very high, like where the
donger hangs in a bell, it is the highest part of the bell (OK, it
was a terrible pun).
On the far right side of the bell curve, it starts out with just one
man that has the longest penis in the world. To my knowledge, that
man is a black man, living in Africa, and his penis is over eighteen
inches long. Not particularly thick, but incredibly long.
Then working back toward the left, there may be three men that have
the second longest penis in the world. And then lets say ten that
are the third longest, and so on.
Obviously then, the closer that your penis size is to average, the
more men in the world have a penis the same length as your.
A bell curve can be constructed for anything, such as for penis girth,
for penis volume, and for breast cup size, for the size of a woman's
vagina . . . . .
So let's talk about the size of a woman's vagina.
The Kama Sutra (an ancient Indian book about sex) uses three terms
to describe the size of women's vagina. The three terms are rather
like simplifying a bell curve, one that is divided into only three
parts, rather than a smooth infinite curve like we discussed above.
The Kama Sutra uses the terms "Rabbit," "Doe,"
and "Elephant" to describe the range of sizes of a women's
vagina. Obviously a woman with a vagina the size of a rabbit would
have a small and probably shallow vagina. A woman with a vagina the
size of a doe (a female deer) would have a medium size, and a woman
labeled an elephant would have a deep and probably loose vagina.
So let's say that Mr Right marries Ms Cute. And let's say that Mr
Right has a penis that is of average size. But lets say that Ms Cute
has a vagina that is best described as an elephant vagina. Obviously
those relative sizes are not the most opportune fit. Ms Cute's vagina
on the other hand could easily accommodate a very large penis. She
may be what you currently hear described as a "Size Queen."
In other words, her vagina requires a larger penis to feel stimulated.
That is not a statement about the size or adequacy of her husband's
penis so much as it is a statement about the size of her vagina.
Lets say on the other hand that same Mr Right marries Ms Tiny, who
has a tiny vaginy. Mr Right would not be able to put his whole penis
inside her without causing her discomfort and quite likely bladder
infections.
My point is this, you CANNOT talk about the "inadequate"
size of a man's penis without also objectively describing the size
of the woman's vagina. That same man's penis might be painful
to a woman with a small vagina (a rabbit). So when a woman gives you
heartburn about your cock size, tell her your size is fine, it is
her cunt that is too damn large! Then tell me how long it took for
your black eye to heal. Just joking!
Let me give you some examples in my life. One of my lovers has a penis
that is seven inches long. It is about two and a half inches in diameter.
It is PERFECT for my pussy (I am a doe). Another of my lovers is about
the same length, but is much thicker.
The question is, which one is better when I have sex with them? The
answer is IT DEPENDS!
I have had lovers with a penis as small as three inches and had glorious
sex. I have also had sex with a man with a HUGE penis, both length
and girth (see my story "Mr
Big"). I did it for one reason. He was convinced that his
cock was too big to be able to make love to a woman without injuring
her. I showed him otherwise. If this tiny five foot tall woman can
take his cock, then surely other women that have elephant vaginas
could greatly enjoy him. Because I had sex with him, he is now happily
married (his words not mine).
There are some general guidelines however. The average man with an
average penis is more than adequate for the average woman.
A woman with a huge vagina will be more likely to enjoy a man with
a huge penis.
A woman with a smaller than average vagina will prefer sex with a
man with a smaller penis.
Here is another fact: Black men have penis's virtually the same size,
statistically, as white men. And guess what! English men have penis's
statistically longer and thicker than American men!
The lover I described that has a penis that is seven inches long and
two and half inches in diameter is statistically way over on the right
side of the bell curve. The volume of his penis is in the 89th percentile.
The lover I have that is the same length, but thicker is in the 95th
percentile for volume. Please note: THIS IS WITH A SEVEN INCH LONG
PENIS!
So let's discuss other penile characteristics that make a little difference
to the women. As a general statement:
- Women prefer a thicker penis, not a longer penis.
- Women prefer a harder penis to a longer penis.
- Women prefer a man that is gentle and caring to a man with a larger
penis.
- Women prefer a man with long lasting stamina to a man with a larger
penis.
- Women prefer men who will talk to them to a man with a larger penis.
- Women prefer a man that is a good kisser to a man with a bigger
penis.
Are you recognizing a trend here? The truth is, the vast majority
of women really don't give a damn about the size of your cock. Almost
ANY other criteria is more important to us.
When we say "Make Love to Me" we really mean take the time
to talk, to kiss, to caress, to stroke gently, to "wine and dine",
to kiss and caress us after orgasm as well as when you are trying
to get us turned on. Your time and attention to us is what turns us
on, not your cock size.
And that is the truth. So, sweetie, forget about making your cock
bigger so you can make your wife happy. All she really wants is for
you to be with her, talk to her, treat her with respect, make love
with her before during and after sex, treat her like she is the most
important thing in your life. THAT will turn her on and make her happy!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
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