Dear Deni

I am not interested in the cuckold thing at all,
and love my husband too much to attempt it. But
your stories do get me dripping hot!

I would like to ask your advice on how to get my
husband to go for a threesome and or couple swap?
He really loves me and is very jealous, and a
good lover but I want to experience more and even
try a BBC or another girl (I could probably get
him to go for that). We are both white and in our
late twenties. My favorite fantasy that gets my
pussy boiling is to be taken by a hung black man
and a beautiful black woman and be their slave
toy to be used however they wish!! My panties
are getting wet just typing this.... mmmmm

I welcome any advice you can give a poor girl
who wants to fly higher (just not
w/out her partner).

Hugs&kisses,
Wendy

Dear Wendy,

Your fantasy does indeed sound hot! I can see
myself enjoying that as well.

First lets discuss a few things in your letter.

I noticed that you say your husband is the
jealous type. Jealousy is most often associated
with insecurity. When a person is afraid that
they might lose their loved one, they often
become irrationally possessive. Your husband is
apparently afraid of losing you, Wendy. Exposing
him to your fantasies of being with others
sexually may be more than he can handle right
now.

Therefore your idea of being with another woman
may be the safest way to begin to help him
understand that sex is just sex, and is not
necessarily intertwined with your love for him.
He will probably have to grow quite a bit before
he will understand that.

Indeed, most women do not understand that fact
either, so these feelings are not something that
is only a male thing.

I suggest that you start out with him by
discussing, during some hot sex, your fantasies
about being with another woman. Gauge his
reactions. Don’t rush things though. If he gets
into your fantasy, share the same fantasy with
him several more times over the next few weeks
before you ask him if he has ever thought about
actually turning your fantasy about being with
another woman into reality.

See if he has a positive response.

Even then do not press him to make it happen,
even if he is open to the idea. Let it sort of
take on its own life. Hurrying will most likely
make him fearful. Let it be HIS idea when it
finally happens.

Then after you have included another woman into
your sex life, begin to share a fantasy of
perhaps another male. Make sure that the male is
not a specific male. And make the fantasy very
general in nature. Perhaps you could call,
during sex, your fantasy man ‘George’, your new
butler,. The fantasy might be that you hired
George and you found that George was very easy to
talk to and one thing might lead to another and
then you could ask your man if it is OK for you
to use “George” sometime. Make certain that
George is not the name of a friend. If it is,
use a different name for your fantasy butler.

My butler’s name is sethi. Just so you know. He
happens to be a real person, but you can still
use his name if you wish.

So then as your man becomes more familiar with
your fantasy, again slowly make it more and more
real. At some point ask him if he would mind if
you fantasized about a real person. Make it a
movie star or football player, or someone you do
not know in reality. Help your man to understand
that this fantasy has NOTHING to do with your
undying love for him. Prove that to him by
becoming the sex pot that fulfills his every
dream and fantasy.

After a bit, you might ask him, when you are
really turned on and close to cumming, and he has
already cum, if he ever fantasizes about sharing
you with his buddies. If he makes any sort of
positive comment about it, explode in orgasm
instantly.

Then later tell him how hot that sounded when he
liked the idea. Do that several times over a
period of time. This will slowly train him to
understand that your orgasm is tied to HIS
fantasies. It will make him feel more in
control. His being in control will make him feel
less anxious.

Then, on a special day, like his Birthday, or
Christmas, tell him you are ready for him to
bring his buddy home and fulfill his fantasy for
him.

This will confirm you are doing it for him.

The rest will be history. He will either freak
out and never ever let you do it again, or he
will see how much you love him for doing this for
him. When he discovers for sure that it does not
make you love him less, in fact makes you love
him more, he will become less and less anxious,
therefore less and less jealous.

So confirm every day that he is the one you love.
But slowly begin to widen his sexual horizons.
One step at a time. Every successful step being
reaffirmed verbally to him, and complimented with
having sex with him.

Never withhold sex from him, but be honest about
your orgasms. Never lie, cause if you get
caught, his insecurity will be reinforced.

Does that help you? Please let me know if you
have more questions. Loved this one!

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice