Dear Deni,
I've read a few of your articles. I seem to fall right in the middle when it comes to penis size. In fun, I've been measured just over 7'' inches in length at full erection, & about 1 3/4'' in girth. My spouse says she is addicted to my cock. Woooosh. I'll try not to let that go to my EGO. But we have wondered what is the average size of a male penis among male population. Has anyone done a study on the average size of a man's organ? We've heard of smaller dimensions. And men lucky enough to been blessed with 10'' or more.
So although I'm not the largest tool in the shed. Is 7'' the average norm? I hope you have a wonderful day/evening.

From Curious Couple in Southern Californian.

Dear Curious,

I think every man is interested in where they are in the continuum of penile size. So I have done some research. I suspect that many women wonder as well, in their fantasies or disappointments.

I think you are confusing penis girth with diameter in your statement above. Girth is the measurement around the outside of your penis, and diameter is the thickness measured in a straight line from one side to the other. Your penile girth should be measured with a string when you are at your maximum hardness, and then lay the string along a measuring tape.

Your penis length should be measured from your pubic bone just above the base of your penis to its tip when you are soft, not hard. That is because many men have a profound curve in their penis. Stretch your penis as far as you can and then measure it. Press the tape in tight against your pubic bone so that any fat there does not affect the measurement.

Penis size can be measured in three ways:
1) Length
2) Girth
3) Volume

Average length, worldwide, is between 6.25 and 6.75 inches (15.9 to 17.1 centimeters)

Average girth, worldwide, is 5 inches (12.7 centimeters)

Average volume, worldwide, is much harder to ascertain, but if you multiply the average length by the average girth, you get 32.5 cubic inches (209 cubic centimeters). My lover is in the 85 percentile and he measures 6.75x7.85, or a volume of 53 cubic inches.

The above information is from Shirley’s web site called “cuckolded”. The URL is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cuckolded . She runs a great site. She has compiled the information she has there carefully and from all over the world.

In the end, your wife’s opinion of your cock is far more important than any other unit of measurement. And your wife’s opinion of your cock is more based on how attentive it is to her needs than its size.

Many men of mythical proportions complain that their wife resents their size after a few years. Once again, genitals that measure in at the 50 percentile usually bring the most pleasure over a life time. So whether your equipment is either too big for your wife’s comfort, or too small to please her is almost the same problem for the man.

But just remember this, your wife is far less concerned about your penis size than you are. Women really don’t care what size your penis is as long as you are gentle and empathetic with them. Talk to your wife and let her know what you are thinking in your heart of hearts. That makes you far more points than having a thick long cock.

Hope this helped!
Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni
It is so that I have developed a great desire for sex from last few years. And have become lil bit crazy too. Unfortunately I don’t get the same feeling for my wife. Though she is good looking but still I don’t get that feeling and arousal.

Is it something got to with mindset or something else? I love her but we are having a problem with this so can u guide or suggest.

shailesh

Dear Shailesh,

It sounds to me like you two are both trying to be in control of your marriage, and your sex life is suffering because of it. I suspect (and I am reading between the lines here) that you subconsciously resent her domineering attitude and therefore do not respond sexually to her any more.

This is called acting in a passive aggressive manner. Rather than learning to communicate your frustration with her, you simply shut down.

There is no easy solution to this, unfortunately. It will take a great deal of effort on both your parts, and a concerned competent marriage counselor to help you reconnect.

It will be the same with your next wife if you two split up, so divorce or separation will not serve as a long term solution. Besides, divorce is extravagantly expensive, both financially as well as emotionally.

I suggest that you two try a few things as you take this trip into ‘communication land’. Agree ahead of time that only one of you is in control for your sexual time together. The person that is in control (within reason of course) has total say about what will transpire as you two have sex. It is a great time for each of you to live your deep seated fantasies. Alternate who is in control each time you have sex. Take the time to build the fantasy you are creating, then acting out, when you are the one in control.

Then, when your wife is in control, do everything you can to properly and joyfully act out your part of her fantasy. When you start doing this sort of thing, you may need to use some erection enhancement drugs such as Viagra, or herbal assistance. As you two reconnect, the need for them may well go away. And start saying ‘thank you’ to her for her attempts to meet you half way in your endeavors at reconnecting.

This will only work if you two are working hard on reestablishing your communication skills. We women have this need to know we are being heard.

I wish you the best of luck.

And, by the way, your wife is lucky, it is you that is reaching out to find help, rather than expecting her to do it. Congratulations! And I wish you two “Good Sexing!”

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice