Dear Deni,

How in the world do you stay so skinny? I have watched you eat, honey, and you eat more than most hungry men! How in the world do you stay so skinny? I just look at a piece of choclate and I gain ten pounds.

Enviously
Trina

Dear Trina

Our weight, for most people, is an eternal struggle. My problem with my weight is that I tend to LOSE pounds really easily. I am the opposite of most people. I literally have to eat like a horse or I lose weight.

Before you say to yourself how nice that would be, let me tell you that HAVING to eat all the time is a real drag too. I literally have to pound down at least 4000 calories a day or I lose weight in a hurry.

For those of you that are on the other end of the spectrum, the prevention of weight gain is equally as troublesome.

I get a real charge out of the weight gain experts who try to lump everyone into one type of diet. I have had many, many people say “It’s easy to stay trim”. They spout out some inane thing like “To lose weight, eat less, move more.” Well, for those few lucky people that it works for, congratulations. For the rest of the population, here are my personal observations:

1. Skipping meals does not promote weight loss. All that skipping meals does is put your body into starvation mode. In starvation mode, your body holds on to every single calorie it can for as long as it can. So eating less and less just makes your body extremely good at NOT losing weight. After a while, your body seems to forget how to lose weight.

2. Exercise. Unless your exercise regimen brings your heart rate into the range that makes your body say “I need to give up some of my calories” (the aerobic range), exercise does not help all that much in losing weight. It seems to me that walking slowly DOES help us get into better shape, but until we are in good enough shape to actually get our heart rate up into the “I have to give up some of my calories” range, we are only slowing the rate at which we GAIN weight. Not that that is bad, mind you, but losing weight is not the same as gaining it more slowly.

3. The older we get, the harder it is for our bodies to lose weight. I think this is because we keep trying to lose weight the wrong way, so our body ends up training itself NOT to lose weight.

4. Eating more frequent, smaller meals is better for us than to eat three (or worse yet two or even one) larger meals. I suspect that if we always ate five small meals a day, we would have better luck keeping weight off as we age.

5. Emotional stress is a real weight gain demon. If you are under stress, losing weight is much more difficult. But this is one way that even LOW heart rate exercise can help. As you are exercising, think about all the things that piss you off. Sweat your ‘piss-offs’ out as you work out. Stress says to the body that it needs to hang on to each and every calorie, so it can fight off the root cause of whatever is causing the stress. All that does is put is into starvation mode, and we therefore can’t lose those pounds w want to shed.

6. Keep a (VERY complete) diary of EVERYTHING you eat. Include the time you eat it. Start looking for patterns. Make sure you include how you feel when you eat. Make a note ‘Stressed’ if you are feeling it. You will most likely learn a lot about your eating patterns.

7. Set up new eating patterns that are healthier, and contain fewer calories spread out through the day, rather than eating fewer larger meals.

8. Start exercising every single day. Vary which muscles you are exercising. Start out slow and easy and gingerly increase what you do. There is nothing worse than an exercise program that makes you sore the first day. Find something that is fun to do, not boring. In the beginning, just walk five minutes, then six, then ten, then ten twice a day. Add in other things that are fun, like jumping on a trampoline for a few moments. I like to watch TV while I exercise. Makes the time go fast. Build up slowly. Commit to exercising every day for the rest of your life.

9. Reward yourself every day that you exercise and that you control total calories, and that you spread your calorie intake throughout the day. The reward should NOT be food. Find other ways of rewarding yourself, like a movie, or a phone call to a loved one, or an extra orgasm or two that day.

10. Have LOTS of sex. Sex is one of the best exercises you can do. Sex with a partner is best, but even masturbation will help you relieve your mental stress. Allow yourself to really get into the sex. Be physical, move a lot, try new things. A great sex life will help you lose weight faster than any other thing I know of.

11. Stop drinking sodas. They are either full of sugar or NutraSweet. Both cause your body to clutch up and gain weight. My observation is that NutraSweet is worse than sugar, but neither is good for you. Combined with the caffeine in them, they cause your body to glom on to every calorie it can keep.

12. Drink at least a gallons of water a day, spread out though the day. Our bodies are mostly water. Our bodies work best when we stay well hydrated. Our bodies sense we are in stress when we do not drink enough water, and therefore get very stingy about giving up its stores of fat.

13. Find an exercise partner that will call and say, “Hey! Where are you? We are supposed to be exercising!” Having someone that we commit to, and who remind us, helps us exercise far more consistently. And that is a key.

Trina, I know you have lots of sex. But make sure you are active while all your men are enjoying your body. Use those stomach muscles, use your legs and arms and hands. Be active. Sperm is mostly protein, so feel free to imbibe in as much sperm as you want to.

The diet that seems to help more people than any other single diet that I know of is the low carb diet. You can eat as much protein as you want, and still lose weight. And low carb IS healthy, regardless of what the competing diet fads tell us.

The diet that seems to help NO one is the low fat diet. Low fat means high carb, and carbs are what get stored as fat.

Trina, I wish you well in your struggle. Come on over and let’s have some romping sex . . . . .

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni,

Thanks too much for ur kind reply. I was hesitant to swallow my hubbys cock juice but after receiving ur reply I get very excited and now I drink his cum very easily and feel great pleasure. Now I admit that swallowing cock juice or accepting cock juice in mouth is great pleasure. Sex is incomplete without this act. My hubby is very happy on this achievement and we both r very greatfull to u.

Now please tell me how I seduce my hubby to lick my asshole. I desperately need his tongue licking my ass together with pussy. I M VERY EAGRE TO KNOW UR REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. OUR SEX LIFE GETS GREAT HEIGHTS SINSE WE GETS USING UR ADVICE.

THANKSSSSSSSSSSSS
Twinkle

Dear Twinkle,

Your question brings up a very important point regarding exploring our fantasies, as we become less and less inhibited.

As I said in my previous answer to your question, ‘God made us so that the good stuff comes out the front, and the yuck comes out the back.’ Therefore if we are to indulge in anal play, we must be exceedingly careful about hygiene. For our lover to enjoy anal adoration, our bum must be SQUEAKY clean, INSIDE and OUT!

That takes a bit of planning, and a concerted effort to cleanse yourself. Fastidious douching of your anus is critical.

Once we are anally clean though, it may take some doing for our lover to overcome their squeamishness regarding pleasuring us there, especially orally.

But once they do, it will be obvious how much it turns us on.

So cleanse your self beyond ANY odor or dark matter. This could take over an hour the first few times. Too much liquid in our anal canal is detrimental. The key is to put just enough in our colon that it voids completely, but not so much that it backs up into our large intestine. After a few tries, you will catch onto that.

After that, start including a exciting and lurid suggestion about what you want in your fantasies as you make love. Let him watch you as you spread your wetness onto your perineum with your finger or toy, and then caress yourself there as he watches how much you enjoy it. Let him watch you insert your finger into your own opening down there. Let him hear you moan from the exquisite pleasure it brings you. Hold eye contact with him as you do so. Tell him (in sexy words, not filthy words) in your neediest voice how you have taken great pains to prepare yourself before making love, and how much you want him to lick and kiss you there.

Your seduction may have to involve gentle pressure to his head when he is orally delighting your pussy, pressing him lower and lower, and asking him softly with great feeling to kiss you down there, “Just a little lower, baby!”

Show great excitement anytime he is willing to touch you there. After he sees how much it turns you on, he will begin to think about, and then later try, to kiss you and lick you there. If you are like me, that is an almost instant orgasm.

Good luck. Please report back as to your progress and success, and what you learned.

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice