Dear Deni..!!
 Can u tell me what is the best technique in licking cunts?
 
Thanks
Kurita

Dear Kurita,
Well, (chuckling a little here) the BEST way is the way that gives the lady the best orgasm possible! Maybe ten or twelve of them while you are at it!

Seriously, there truly is no “BEST way” to do it.

That is because for a woman it is not necessarily the same every day, and also rarely the same woman to woman. Some days focusing on her clitoris may result in incredible rewards. Some day her labia may need nibbling. Some days, her pussy may not want ANY licking! Some days it takes all of the above and then some. . . .

But here are some general guidelines:

First: in order to get better at oral sex, your partner must be willing to let you know exactly where and how it feels the best. She must be willing to move your head, or tell you ‘harder’, or ‘softer’, or ‘faster’, or ‘slower’, or ‘over just a leeeeittle bit . . .’. Get the picture? That way you don’t waste time and energy, and get your jaws and tongue worn out, with an activity that she is not getting turned on by.

If she is NOT able to show that sort of response, give you that sort of feedback, save your energy and just get yourself off, in my opinion. If she finds that your cock inside her turns her on, that’s good, but being with a lover who is all bound up and can’t communicate to you when you are getting it right (or wrong) is in the end a quick recipe for really bad ‘dining at the Y’.

Second: Start with light pressures. When you see her beginning to respond, slowly, slowly build up pressure on whatever your enjoying until she is obviously getting hot.

Third: Start slow. Some women like it slow for the whole time you are dining, others (or at other times) want you to speed up as she gets close. Again, communication is critical.

Fourth: Some women’s clitties are very well hidden. Some protrude quite a bit. But in almost every case, the sensations are most intense if you’re delighting her clittie, not just her hood or her labia. If necessary, as she becomes more and more aroused, peel back her protective hood and open her vaginal lips enough that you can use the tip of your tongue directly on her clittie.

Fifth: use your fingers at the same time. Inside her, stimulate her G spot, stretch her vagina gently with a few fingers, caress her perineum, get her little rosebud wet with her juices and then gently tickle her anal pucker.

Sixth: WET! LUBRICATED! SOOOOO important to keep her tender sexy flesh nice and lubed up! Remember that you MUST be careful that your lube and your protection must be compatible, or you may end up with a baby, or other ramification that you did not want.

So: Light slow touches using your fingers, periodically changing what you are doing until you obviously hit a hot spot, then stay with that as long as she continues to freshen. If she begins to ebb, change tactics as you again look for what is making her hot.

One last bit of advice for you. Make ‘lingual love’ one of the later parts of your love making, not one of your starting gambits. Kissing, talking, caressing, petting, are all prerequisites to a woman beginning to feel aroused. After that, her precious little body will be more receptive to your oral pleasuring.

And make sure your whole body smells good, especially your hands, your breath, and your groin (including your asshole), and your armpits.

Good luck! And let me know if you find a great spot that she loves!

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni
I’m Samantha and I have a question.

When I make love with my boyfriend I can't concentrate very well. With my eyes closed it goes OK, but if I open them it's very difficult for me to concentrate.

But I like that when he comes he looks me in the eyes. But if he is so far we can do it again and than i have my eyes open so it's difficult for me to concentrate again on it.

Can you help me with this so that I don’t lose my concentration?

I hope you mail me back,

thank you,
Samantha

Dear Samantha,

I had to ask my girlfriend about your question. Since I have never had this particular problem, it confused me until she explained her situation to me. As I understand it, her, and your, best way of making love is to do it with your eyes closed because you can concentrate and fantasize better than when your eyes are open. I did some research to determine ways that might help you with your situation.

We sense the world in five different ways: Hearing, Seeing, Feeling, Smelling, and Tasting.

Human’s typically have one sense that is dominant.

You seem to be “Vision dominant”. That means that what your eyes see is what has the best chance of becoming what your brain dwells on. Since it is your sense of touch that is turning you on, you must close your eyes so that your vision does not short circuit your brain’s primary attention and stop your growing arousal being generated by your sense of touch.

This dilemma of yours fascinates me.

I guess I would have to confess that my sense of touch seems to be my dominant sense. I suppose that also explains why it is so easy for me to become aroused, and to cum. Nothing distracts my brain once I am being touched. Your question has been a bit of an epiphany for me. Thank you for that!

I can find no research that has found ways to allow a person’s to change their dominant sense.

However, I suppose that learning to concentrate through such activities as Yoga or meditation might be helpful to you. These activities teach a person how to concentrate no matter what.

I went to a health seminar last winter at which one of the presenters talked about enhancing a person’s concentration. He talked about it at length, but the gist of his presentation was this: PRACTICE! Practice every day. Practice until you can consistently maintain your concentration for twenty to thirty minutes.

In your case, that would mean that you should keep your eyes open as you meditate. You should provide stimulus from your other senses to help you maintain your concentration on THOSE secondary senses, and to teach yourself NOT to respond to what your eyes see.

I cannot promise you that these exercises will help.

I do know one thing that WILL help you though! Just keep your eyes closed when you want to cum, and until you DO cum.

BUT!!!! Give yourself explicit permission to cum BEFORE your lover does!

Then, as he gets close to spurting, you can open YOUR eyes and stare into his, enjoying his ecstatic face as he peaks.

Then you will have the best of BOTH worlds!

I wish you the best of luck, sweetie,

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice