Dear Deni,
I'm bisexual and I Love girls a lot but the thing is that when its comes to talking to them I feel shy and well sometimes I just talk to them like their my best friend and I don’t like that I want to start talking them sexual and as if I am really into them which most of the time I am.
How can I talk to them more openly. This might not be the greatest question but I really would like help on that.
Well thanks. Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

I suppose that you find yourself getting shy, and afraid that you will be thought of as weird, or too pushy, or some other negative adjective.

Look at it this way. By breaking the ice, you are doing your friend a favor, honey!

They probably want to talk to you about the same things you want to talk to them about. Both of you are most likely shy and afraid of rejection.

So, the best way to do that is to ask your friend if you can send her a story that you enjoyed reading by email. Pick a story about two friends that kiss. Email it to her. And, at the end of the story, type her the question, “What do you think?”

Let her respond to you. If her response is negative, just consider it as her being honest with you. And if it is not one of her turn-ons, let it be. You have just eliminated her as one of your potential lovers.

In fact, you could send this same email to all your friends that turn you on honey! And then wait for the responses to come in.

This is called “Breaking the Ice” with your intended lovers. You will often be nicely surprised by the results of breaking the ice.

Regarding your comment that you “talk to them like they are your best friends”, that is a GOOD thing honey! You SHOULD know your lover well before you have sex.

See, sex is a normal part of life. It is natural, ingrained, normal, and not a bad thing in any way. God designed sex to be the glue that binds two lovers together. Don’t be ashamed of your feelings honey. Never be ashamed of your feelings unless they are intended to hurt another person.

If you think sex is a bad thing, then you are naturally afraid to talk about it. It is important to recognize and convince yourself that sex is NOT bad. And if one of your friends is offended that you asked her if she was interested in you, then that person is probably too inhibited to be a good and nourishing lover any way. Better to find that out earlier, rather than later. You have just eliminated one potentially bad relationship! Fewer heart breaks is a good thing honey.

I wish you the best in your blossoming sexuality, Jennifer.

Thanks for writing!

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Sincerely yours
Sarah

Dear Sarah,

It sounds like you know where you want the sensuous pressure, but not how to get the men to know where that special pressure point is.

You know, I pity men when it comes to making love to us women. They can’t feel what we feel, and they have no idea how to tell if they are doing it right . . . . . unless we tell them (or show them) in terms they can understand. Not only that, they are there, hanging above us most of the time, their big muscles working ever so hard, their imaginations working over time, their cocks demanding to shoot their sperm, but they want so badly to make us happy, to make us cum. I appreciate their efforts.

Well Sarah, let’s see.

First, if you’re getting sore, it is most likely from one of two reasons. Either your vagina is not lubricated enough (ether natural or man made), or your lover is hitting something sensitive. Many women need more lube than their body produces naturally. There are excellent lubes available out there, some water based, some petroleum based. If you’re using condoms, make certain to read your condom’s instructions so that you don’t use a lube that might destroy its integrity and leak. For instance, latex condoms reportedly do not withstand petroleum based lubes well.

But use LOTS of lube, if needed, add it frequently as you are fucking.

If your lover is hitting a sensitive spot, such as your bladder or your cervix, simply move your pelvis to either a new angle, or further from his pubic bone. If a man’s penis is too long for me, I will sometimes put my hand between his hips and mine to limit his depth. You can use your fingers to stimulate him at the same time . . . . wink!

But it sounds like you have a hard time cumming without stimulation right at a certain place within you. So you will have to take the time to teach each of your lovers where that spot is, how hard for them to press it, and how fast you like to be impaled.

Believe me, if you’re talking about sex, men love to hear it. So do not be bashful about telling them what you like in soft pleasing tones. And don’t be afraid to put your hands of heels on his butt cheeks and guide him to your certain perfect spot. Be assertive without being bossy or overbearing. Remember, men want to please us. They want to hear back through the grape vine that they were great lovers. They adore feeling our pussies cumming on their hard eager cocks.

If your lover is thrusting too fast or too slow, tell him. Instructions like “A tiny bit faster you big jock stud!” will reap instant rewards. If he is going too deep, or not deep enough, tell him. Sometimes it helps them a lot if you get your dildo out and show him what you want, and where you want it.

Remember, men have no idea what it feels like to have a penis inside them. They can’t comprehend what it feels like to be impaled, or filled too far. So as women that are in search of our best orgasm, we have to tell them, teach them, show them. They want to learn. They need our teachings.

May your orgasms exceed your desires, sweetheart.
Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice