Dear Deni,

I would like to teach myself how to squirt, but my only problem is that when I am about to cum, I push down as if to release and then before anything cums out, I pass out. It is frustrating but something I want to badly achieve before I get married so then I can surprise him on our first night together.

How I start is by rubbing my clitoris ever so softly almost as if I am brushing across it, then I slowly begin to apply more pressure as I come closer to climax. My hands start to shake, my legs twitch, and then before you know it I have passed out in a moment of weakened lust. Could you possibly help me?

Thanks,
Intended to please A.W.

Dear Ashley,

I can understand your frustration. In order to squirt we must be intensely turned on, but the ability to squirt our sensuous liquids for our lover requires that we must not pass out. Although, honestly, I am not sure which is more pleasurable. Either result will please our lover greatly because it speaks so wonderfully of our arousal with our lover.

For myself, if I decide that I wish to squirt, I must monitor how turned on I am. Then, when I have that feeling of fullness I have to stop any further stimulation and simply press down with my squirting muscles.

As I have pointed out in previous tips, if you are concerned about whether you’re feeling of fullness is urine or your love elixir, just make sure to void your bladder before you start to sex yourself, or your lover starts to pleasure you. Then you are free to press down in certainty that it is your love juices that is making you feel so full down there.

But knowing just “how much is enough” stimulation may take a bit of practice.

Look at it this way, if you stop too soon, all you have to do is start up again. But if you stop too late, as you pointed out, you pass out.

Learn just how far is “enough” for you. That may mean lots of trial attempts, each of which is highly pleasurable! It is a “can’t lose” situation for you!

Your sexuality speaks highly of your healthy attitudes toward sex. Being a highly sexual creature, you have few if any inhibitions. That is a wonderful start to a person’s sex life. Your ability to respond easily, your ability to rise to your peak with great joy, will make your love life highly fulfilling for both you and your lovers.

Keep up the good work that you have started, sweetheart. Monitor your arousal and learn to know just when you’re about to explode, then push hard and enjoy our ultimate reward.

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni,

I am taken by surprise how can you feel fulfilled by both sexes! Of course one of them would feel better than the other. Which one is better?

beavereater


Dear Beaver,
Love you name!

There is a lot to be said for oral sex, Beaver. However, just like a man naturally understands how another man likes to be touched on his penis, a woman innately understands how another woman likes to be pleasured during oral sex.

Now that does not mean that a man can not learn how to please a woman with his mouth, or hands, or penis. I have experienced a number of men who have taken the time, and/or been taught by a woman, how to pleasure me.

It is simple really. People have years of experience with themselves, and only a relative few hours of total time with the body of the opposite sex. Experience leads to being good at something. Men have their whole life’s of experience masturbating and pleasuring themselves, and only a few encounters in which the woman they are with teaches them how best to please a woman’s body.

When you ask me which I prefer, the only honest answer that I can give, is it depends . . . . . . . on my lover!

Let me ask you this. Let’s say you are blindfolded and your hands tied so that you cannot touch yourself. You are naked, and you feel a mouth softly and sweetly engulf your member. The mouth knows just how to pleasure your lovely prick, and you grow harder and stiffer until suddenly you gloriously expend your gift of sperm into the loving talented mouth that suckles you so sweetly.

When you are untied and our blindfold is removed, you discover that your oral lover is not there.

Would you ever know the sex of your lover? Would it make a difference to your orgasm if you never knew whether it was a man or a woman sucking you to orgasm? You came, and you gifted your maleness into the mouth that suckled you. Given that different people are equally gifted at making love, the gender of your lover makes little difference to your response so long as you can respond to them sexually.

When my female lovers and I are together, it is intensely sweet and nurturing. It is the same with most male lovers, so long as they are accomplished at sex. Unfortunately, many men are not givers when it comes to sex. Rather they are just there to fuck and then go to sleep. That is their biological urge. All male animals have that urge.

However in human’s we have developed the ability to make lover, rather than just fuck. To human’s it is more than biological. It is, in its best form, creating the start, or continuing a relationship that is based on mutual caring. It provides a place for human children to grow up happy and healthy and cared for.

Women tend to be better at letting their feelings show than men are. That is hugely rewarding to a another woman during sex. Therefore having sex with another woman can be intensely fulfilling emotionally. The same can be true of a man if that man will allow his feeling to surface and show and be expressed while he makes love to me.

There are times for fucking, and there are times for making love.

Men tend to be great at just fucking the daylights out of a woman. But women tend to be instinctively better at making sweet, nurturing love with each other.

Does that answer your question?

Deni
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice