Dear Deni:

I love your sex guide so much and read it all the time! It has really helped my sex life and also given me some great tips and tricks too!

I have a question for you about the ways of men! I just don't understand them sometimes, and I know you would be able to explain it to me in an objective way without man-bashing!

I have a lover and we are very close in cyber. We have been thinking about meeting in our real lives for awhile now, and even started to plan this visit! I was so very excited about this until he told me that he also plans on possibly meeting a few others as well.

I just want to know if there is something in a man's genetic make up that makes him feel the need to fill every pussy he meets with his cock. Is it that I could never be satisfying enough for him? I felt very hurt by this, although I was happy that he told me the truth up front.

So tell me Deni...do you think that a man can never be satisfied with just one woman, or is it me?

I appreciate your advice so much...and will look forward to your sexy reply.

Love,
Mona

Dear Mona . . . . . .

First: it is NOT you!

Second: men CAN be satisfied by one woman!

What I suspect is happening with you is that your cyber love is excited about gaining some freedom, being away from home, and wishes to have lots of fun while he can.

Now think about it this way, if you were to go to a GREAT restaurant for the first time, would you not want to sample more than one of their world famous dishes?

On the other hand, if you were to agree to meet someone who has had sex with many people, you run a high risk of contracting a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD).

And therein is one of the primary differences between men and women.

Think about how mankind has developed trough the millennia. Humans have been around over three million years. THAT is a LONG time! In that period, those genes of the humans that did things in a way that enhanced the ability for their genes to be passed on to succeeding generations have been replicated and those very genes have a much better chance of their offspring surviving, and passing those same genes on to generation after generation of humans.

For instance, if a single male impregnates many, many women, it is more likely that his genes will survive and be passed on to future generations. So the genetic traits of that male have a high probability to be passed on and on. That means that what he was good at will be passed on to future generations. A great hunter that impregnates several hundred women will have a profound affect on the long term survivability of his clan.

On the other hand, women are genetically predisposed to focus on what happens AFTER the sex is over! In other words, if pregnancy should result from sex (remember, only in the last few years has reliable birth control been developed) the woman will have a tiny, needy human to nurture for decades.

The male, on the other hand, does not have that same repercussion. Historically men have been the ones that provide the food, and if or when they decide to leave their nest, the kids do not go with them. So the likely hood that a woman’s genes will survive and be passed on to future generations depends on her offspring, her babies, living long enough to reproduce.

So you and your lover, being of opposite sex, have genetically conflicting priorities driving you.

You, on the one hand, are being a genetically driven to focus on the viability of your offspring. Your potential lover on the other hand is responding to his genetic impulse to impregnate as many females as possible.

This is where your dispute is coming from.

Enter sexually transmitted diseases. In just the past half century, an STD so effective at surviving has become a significant health risk. AIDS has killed millions of people in the last fifty years.

Should humans survive for another million years, and STDs continue to be virulent, that fact will begin to sway the genetic wars to favor men that do NOT have sex with lots and lots of women.

So, after said all of the above, your ability to "satisfy him" is not as high a priority in his mind as spreading his genes around. He is kind of like a child running amuck after grandfather gave him a hundred bucks to spend in a candy store. Men, because of human genetic survival history, tend to be like a bull elk entering the rutting season where he has the chance to run free for a few weeks.

Las Vegas has recognized this, thus their advertising about "What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas." No need to take responsibility for your actions here. Be wild and free while you visit us!

It fascinates me that as humans have developed better and better birth control products and methods, women have begun to allow themselves to experiment sexually. Medicine were being developed (antibiotics) that allowed us to "fix" our bodies even if we contracted an STD. Now mother nature has thrown another disease (AIDS) at us that does not respond to those same medicines.

So Mona, it is not you, it is your human genetic makeup. Please carefully think through whether you can accept your potential lover’s dalliance BEFORE he comes to your bed. You DO run a risk of STDs. And bear in mind, even if you are not aware of his previous dalliances, the risk of STDs is just as real.

The fact that your lover told you straight out that he intended to "play the field" speaks well of him. Honesty means a lot in these days of deceit and lies.

In the end, your decision must be well thought out, and your protection against contracting STDs must be carefully prepared and carried out.

Just remember, in the heated thrill of passion, when you are with your lover for the very first time, it is far to easy to allow seminal fluids to come in contact with your disease-susceptible places.

Be careful baby! Be careful.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice