Dear Deni,

I have a question about sex and tradition.You see, I have been dating a Chinese Gal for about three months. She is virgin. Very traditional.
I can see she likes me. I am taking it at respectful pace.
I guess my question is if I feel this is right, and I do, how do I get her to comply to erotic times?

Thank you Peter

Dear Peter,

Love your name! Wink!

I think that by erotic times you mean have sex (i.e. "make love"). The best way is to talk about it together. I know that is hard. But talking about hard things (other than the one in your trousers) is what makes the difference between a good relationship and a miserable one. The sooner you start talking together, the sooner w you will know her thoughts, and she will know yours.

So how do you broach the subject?

Well, look her in the eyes, hold her hand, and then ask her if she feels like you are sexy to her. It helps to blush when you ask. If she says no, then you have your answer. If she blushes, you know she ahs thought about it already too.

Then you can lead the conversation toward timing and preferences.

Good luck. Just remember, sexual relations open up a whole lot of spontaneous feelings and expectations within a potentially deeper relationship. You may discover that you are not after all well suited to each other. If that happens, be honest with her and don’t just dump her. There is something about sex that takes the lust out of the relationship enough that reality can surface. And sometimes reality is that you two are not well matched.

So talk to her. Be honest. But be gentle. There is so much joy in your first lover. Enjoy every second, and don’t hurry it.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni
I find myself wanting female company, after 40 years of of straight, a female is starting to get me hot: do I keep ignoring it or go for it?
Ak True

Dear AK

You do not mention if you are married or in a committed relationship. If you are, remember to make sure you discuss your desires with your significant other. The pleasure of a new sexual relationship may not make up for the hurt and potential harm you could cause to an existing relationship.

So make it an honest and up front relationship, not a sordid cheating one.

That being said, there is NO reason not to indulge yourself with a discreet and safe lover.

I currently have two female live-in housemates, and we all enjoy each other immensely. We also trade and share our male lovers. I was 39 when I discovered I was bi-sexual.

As females, our libido remains strong as we age. And, happily, most men are more than open to watching us with another woman, especially if it is a three way sharing of sexual bliss.

So enjoy, and try new things!

To LIFE!

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni,

I read the response to your recent reader who asked about the female ejaculation, and I am interested in how I could possibly become a woman who was able to ejaculate.

Recently engaged and extremely happy about it, I realized that my fiancé has one particular fantasy that would make him possibly the happiness man on this earth. He would love to watch me squirt, hell I would love to squirt myself.
When I am with him, I am extremely loose. He is the first man that I've ever been with and the only man I truly love other than my God. I have had that "pee" feeling before but of course, I thought I had to pee and not simply ejaculate.
I would love to be able to ejaculate for him. Could you please help me?

Sincerly,
Fantasy

Dear Fantasy,

It sounds like you are already ninety percent of the way there. Just keep having your lover stimulate the location that seems to bring on that feeling of "needing to pee". Pretty soon you will feel an over powering need to orgasm. Then squeeze that part of your insides that feels full. It will most likely be in the lower middle portion of your abdomen, and may indeed be the similar to the sensation of forcing pee out when you ARE going pee.

Many women’s trigger point is deep in their vagina, on the front side (toward their belly button) of their cervix. So it may take a penis long enough to hit that spot to allow you to actually reach the point of spurting. Depending on how deep your vagina is, a dildo or long fingers might be able to trigger your liquid pleasures as well.

Remember, the mind is the sex organ. Your vagina is just a means of your mind expressing its needs. So keep stimulating your mind AND your pussy. Talk, tell each other fantasies, act out fantasies.......the more turned on you are the more likely you will be to spurt.

And honey, once you do, all other orgasms will pale in comparison, believe me!

Keep me posted!

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni,

I was wondering if there is any reason I should not let my boyfriend pee in my mouth, vagina, or anus. I would really like to try this and need to know if there is any risk. He really likes it when I pee on his cock or in his mouth while he is licking me. We have been together for 6 years and are not worried about STD's or anything like that.

Need to know
Cindy

Dear Cindy,

Other than the issues you have already answered, there is not a reason medically to not enjoy a lover’s urine. I adore being included in my lover’s urination when I am in certain moods. There is such an erotic element to participating in your lover’s wetness that issues from his sex organ.

A person’s urine is naturally sterile. So unless a lover is infected with an STD such as herpes, there should be no danger of infection or other malady that would result from this activity.

You may have read my story called "Diary" in which Ellie Sue is treated to her many lovers’ pee. As you can tell, I enjoy the thought.

For the less than adventurous types, the activity can be made less objectionable if you are treated to their water while you are in the shower or bath tub. Less cleanup.

So give it a try and see how it fits into your love making.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice