Hi my name is Pussy Cat:

My boyfriend and I been together for a very long time. We can both please each other sexually. But my only problem is that he had asked me to swallow his juice. For more then I try I get this sensation of nasty stuff coming inside of my mouth and I start to gag. Like I wanna throw up just to think about. I really wanna please him all the way. Is there a good technique that you have cause I know you a sperm lover. I love sucking his big cock but I wanna go all the way and swallow his juice. Please help

Pussy Cat

Dear Pussy,

Sperm can be quite bitter if your boyfriend eats certain foods, such as garlic. It could also be that you two have conflicting acidic/base levels in your systems.

I suggest that you ask your boyfriend to change his diet and try some things that sweeten his sperm. Try feeding him pineapple to see if that helps.

Also I suggest that you collect some of his sperm and just sample it by wetting your finger in his cum and licking the sperm from your finger. You may discover he tastes better than you thought he would.

As women, we tend to view our vaginas as dirty. And because we perceive men as being like us, we assume their cocks are also dirty. Well, actually, if you spend any time around men in the shower, you will see that they wash their penis far more than any other part of their bodies. It feels so good to them to touch their cocks that they often wash them over and over and over as they stroke themselves to orgasm.

Do believe me, and you must convince yourself of this: men’s cocks are clean and sanitary for the most part. Now if he is the type of man that does not cleanse his butt well, he could have a dirty cock because of that. I have previously written about making sure your anal canal is clean of fecal material.

So there are three things you can do. 1: Start testing and tasting sperm in small amounts. 2: Experiment with his diet to make his cum taste better. And 3: Convince yourself that his cock, and his cum, is not dirty or harmful.
Let me know how it goes.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

Dear Deni,

I am not the sort of person that normally writes these kind of letters to strangers, but there is no one in my life I can ask this kind of question.

About 3 months ago my boyfriend of 8 years suggested we invite some others to join us for sex, as an experiment. I wasn’t keen on the idea at first. I had some experience with other girls (mostly school girl experimentation) so it wasn’t that, it was more the jealousy of seeing him inside other girls I was afraid of. Eventually I gave in and agreed to do it (albeit that I agreed as he was going down on me and I was about to cum at the time).

About 2 months ago he had arranged it and the big night was approaching. It was a mix of excitement and fear that I answered the hotel room door on the night. Brad had gone to reception to meet them so I knew it was going to happen. We had an amazing night, and have done it every weekend since. Andy has a big meaty cock that I love and Amanda is beautiful and strong and very sexy.

The issue is that I have been seeing Amanda during the day when the boys are at work and we have recently been hopping into bed at every opportunity. I realize that the thing I like most about the sex is being with her and that I want to leave my Brad and be with her.

I have been with Brad since I was 13, he is my only boyfriend, and I really do love him, but Amanda has awakened something inside me that I can’t deny.

What do I do?!?!?!?
Kate

Dear Kate,

The experience of being with a new lover, especially one that seems to fill a void in us, can be overwhelming. You mention that you have been with your boyfriend since you were thirteen years old. As you say, that was eight years ago, making you twenty one or so now. Obviously you have grown up, matured, a great deal in those years.

There is no shame in this, Kate. People grow apart as they mature and change. That may be happening with you and your boyfriend. As people reach twenty to twenty four years of age, they do go through a number of maturational changes. What seemed perfect and wonderful when we were younger is now often viewed as comfortable and even sometimes boring.

The fact that you are bi-sexual is a wonderful thing. You have met a woman that seems to meet your current needs in many ways. Your boyfriend meets them less so now.

However, all that being said, there is something much more important at work here. That is the issue of honesty.

Kate, it is critical that you be honest and upfront with your friends. ALL of your friends. Loving someone makes you partially responsible to them. Particularly it makes you responsible to treat them fairly and honestly. From your letter, it seems like perhaps you are not doing that with your boyfriend.

I urge you to come clean with him, and if that leads to a break up, so be it.

I am not suggesting that you be cruel to him. I am suggesting that you honestly, carefully and lovingly tell him of your feelings for Amanda. If he loves you, and really cares about your well-being, then perhaps you two can work out something that works for all of you.

But slinking around and cheating on someone your love will only lead to heartbreak or worse, for everyone.

Be proactive with this. Solve this problem like an adult, a mature and caring person that treats others with respect and consideration.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice

I have a question about my sexual relationship with my partner. I have been with my girlfriend now for about 6 years. I love her more than anything and we have been through so much together.

During the past few years our sex lives have really gone down hill that spark and urge for one another isn’t always there and I think it is because we just fell into a boring everyday routine and stressing out all of the about money and lots of other things. We both love each other very much and really want this to work so I was just hoping for any suggestions, tips, techniques, things to do, to get us back to where we use to be. You know when you just can’t keep your hands off of each other.

If you have any more questions for me or just need more information just let me know. I really need help. I want to have our hot sex lives back and I know she does too!

Thanks,
Josh

Dear Josh,

The loss of mental intimacy is a sad thing when it happens to a previously loving and contented couple. This estrangement can happen for a number of reasons. Let’s discuss a few of the most prevalent reasons.

Many couples get so busy that they no longer take time to plan mental and physical intimacy. They stop looking forward to being together, to making love, to talking about their days, including what made them feel good and what hurt their feelings. And when you stop looking forward to those things that are a result of looking forward to being together, your body is no longer "primed for action" when you get home.

Therefore unless the couple again starts thinking ahead, planning their evenings to culminate in making love or having those wonderfully fulfilling discussion of their hectic days, their thoughts become more and more private until, after time, they are no longer comfortable sharing their most private thoughts. The rest of the relationship, including sex, follows the gradual decline of mental intimacy.

Another reason that couples drift apart is that there could have been events, sometimes financial, in which one person loses trust in their partner. Most couples have different attitudes about money, or how to handle grief, or how to handle in-laws, and almost every other thing in life. If one of them feels like their views or wishes are more often than not disregarded, their feelings of wanting to be intimate will decline and eventually disappear. Obviously the whole relationship has to be going well, or intimacy declines. Compromise, carefully thought through, discussed and agreed to, then followed up on, can result in a better relationship.

There could be "another person" in one of your lives. If so, the affected person often no longer wants to be intimate with their current partner any more. In effect, they have already moved on.

There could be physical reasons, such a pain, or aches, or fears about disease, which could rob a couple of the combined will to be intimate. Few people are in the mood for sex if they have systemic pain hour after hour, day after day.

Sometimes one or the other person simply "grows up". Women have a distinct change around the age of thirty, and then again at the age of menopause. Men usually change, "become a man", around twenty four to twenty eight years of age, and then may have a "mid life crisis" at forty five. Often these "life changes" include a change in long term goals, what a person likes and doesn’t like, or what they approve of for personal behavior in others. Any of these conditions can result in the couple "growing apart".

And then of course, there is the fact that the longer you are around someone, the better you know them. One or both of the partners may decide that they no longer like or respect the other person.

All of these situations will most likely altar the will to be intimate with their partner.

The solution of course, to all of these, is honest and open communication. If BOTH partners will honestly agree to work through whatEVER issues have arisen, ANY couple can again experience the wonderful intimacy that gives any relationship that warm fuzzy feeling that must be there for a couple to enjoy sexual relations. But it is hard work, and requires brutally honest yet sensitively worded communication.

I wish you luck, and fortitude, Josh. There is nothing better in life than a satisfying, nourishing love life.

Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better Sex Advice