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Life
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For
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| Female
Orgasms - yes or no |
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I just
lost my virginity not too long ago, and sex is
pretty good now with my boyfriend. I'm not sure if I
had an orgasm yet...So I'm just wondering how would I
know when I have one? I mean what will it feel like?
Brittany
Dear Brittany,
Yes! Isn’t sex wonderful? With or without an orgasm, the sensations
of sex with a person that you have lots of good feelings about is
well worth the effort and emotional risk. God designed us, and constructed
us to enjoy sex. Orgasm was something that he gave to only human women
though. Did you know that? Other than humans, females do not experience
orgasm?
Now to your question. The first few orgasms, or near orgasms, in a
young woman can often leave you guessing as to what they were. Don’t
let that deter you though. It is not unusual for women to not experience
orgasm until they are in their mid-thirties, or even beyond. One of
my lover’s wives did not experience an orgasm until she was 48
years old! She had her first one shortly after they got married.
That does not mean that sex is not pleasurable. Instead it just means
you have had your banana split without the cherry on the top. You
get the picture. You got most of the pleasure, just not the exquisite
shiver and shudder that takes you “over the top”.
Your question, “What does an orgasm feel like?” is
the hardest question to answer, because English does not have the
right words to adequately convey the sensations. But let me try.
First let’s talk about how it feels after you cum (have an orgasm).
Let’s describe it as totally relaxed . . . . and yet fully alive
inside.
Second, the physical sensations during orgasm are about half way between
being deliciously tickled and a sneeze. They both feel good when they
are over, yet during them (such as when you are getting ready to sneeze),
you can’t stop the overwhelming sensations.
So how do you go from the deliciousness of having sex to the incredible
delight of having an orgasm? Oddly enough, an orgasm comes from
within ourselves. It is not a gift someone gives to us. It comes
from our allowing our mind to let go and to simply feel the sensations
of sex, rather than to work at cumming. You have to FEEL it! You (or
your lover) have to continue to supply stimulation to your erogenous
zones until your mind can no longer maintain control, and then you
simply submit to the exquisite bliss of the orgasm.
The more experienced your lover is with your body, the easier it is
for you to receive the right amount and type of stimulation that is
sufficient to drive you over the top. Erogenous zones are what the
sexologists call areas of our body that turn us on. Some common erogenous
zones are our genitals, our necks, our ears, our lips, and even the
back of our knees.
If you were to look at your own face when you cum, it would look like
you are in agony. The human body turns many sensations that would
normally be experienced by us as slightly painful, and turns them
into sensations of pleasure. Sexual stimulation is often that way.
Watch your boyfriends face next time he cums. You will see what I
mean!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
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| Keeping
your pussy in shape |
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Deni, you are the
best!!!!
I do have a question for you though. How do you keep that pussy so
tight and strong? I have never experienced anything that is so incredibly
tight! I know that you like thick ones, yet even for a more normal
size guy like me, you are still incredibly tight! What is your secret?
Tell us so that every woman can have a wonderfully tight little cunnie!
Hugh
Dearest Hugh,
A woman’s body is under constant assault. Staying in shape is
a never ending battle, that is for sure! And our pussies are no exception.
Unfortunately, if a woman does not have sufficient motivation to keep
her vaginal muscles in great shape, it soon seems like a waste of
time. And a woman’s husband or boyfriend plays a distinct and
important part in providing that necessary motivation. So men, do
your part too.
But back to what a woman can do.
First you have to find out which muscles are inside your vagina, and
how to contract them. If you can put your fingers inside your vagina,
that is a great start. Otherwise you will need someone else to put
their fingers inside you and report what they feel. Then, after fingers
are inside you, contract various muscles until you feel their motion
in your vagina. A good muscle to start with is the one that you clench
to stop peeing. Another one is your muscles you use to cough. Another
one is the ones you use to try to poop (Sorry, but that is a GREAT
set of muscles). If you experiment, you will find that many of the
muscles you use in your everyday activities are the same ones you
use to contract your vagina.
Once you have identified these various muscles, start contracting
them ten to twenty times each work out session, six or seven times
every day. The great part about doing this is you can do it at work,
or at the movie, or while you are watching TV, or any time that you
think of it.
Then, after you can contract them at will, improvise a sequence of
contractions, like you would for a full body work out. Once you have
memorized the contraction sequence, practice it over and over until
it becomes second nature. Then, when you are having sex, you can stimulate
a man’s cock inside you by going through the sequence, and you
don’t get distracted from your own orgasm as you pleasure him.
Believe me, the men will always call you back for a second date! Giggle!
Personally, for my favorite type of “workout”, I like to
pick out a hunky man, and contract my vaginal muscles in my memorized
sequence, fantasizing that his cock is inside me. In my mind, I bring
him to orgasm as I stare intently at his crotch. By the end of one
of my public “Workout Sessions”, the hunky man will have
introduced himself to me and asked me out! Great way to flirt, believe
me!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice |
 |
A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
here
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| Using
condoms in fantsies |
|
As a reader of your
stories, and now of your sex guide - I must admit how curious I am
as for using condoms in your real world and love affairs you described
so well. And I dont mean the importance of condoms etc. I mean, how
is it that you never mentioned those in your adventures are you even
using them?
Curious B.
Dear Curious B,
Your question is a good one in this day of STDs (Sexually Transmitted
Diseases) that can be deadly at worst, and troublesome at best. One
out of ten people in the US has genital Herpes. Many, many people
have contracted STDs because they were careless with their sexual
contacts.
But sometimes, even wives or husbands, whose spouses are out screwing
around behind their back, are also innocently infected, even though
they themselves are not promiscuous.
Many of my stories, however, are fantasies. Even those stories that
are based on reality are fictionalized somewhat as well, and one of
those fictionalizations is that I do not deal with safe sex and protection.
In a fantasy, a person is allowed to ignore the bad side of their
own actions. If the bad side-affects of a fantasy were included in
the story, the sexual titillations would be compromised. Since people
read erotica to get turned on, not turned off, most writers do not
deal in depth with Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC).
But you are correct! NEVER have sex without well thought through protection,
and always assure that you are SSC. Bottom line, if you have ANY doubts
about your spouse being Òtrue to youÓ, please protect yourself there
as well.
And never forget that even when in a public toilet, or kissing a friend,
STDs can be contracted through cold sores, dirty toilet seats (the
Herpes virus can maintain viability for ten hours on a toilet seat),
etc.
To answer your question, yes, I do practice safe sex, including checking
med cards for currency. So, in conclusion, be SAFE, be SANE, and make
sure that all sex you participate in is consensual.
And thanks for writing!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
|
|
A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
here
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Is there a technique
to take my man's penis all the way down without gagging? This is something
he wants but my gag reflexes aren't too good. Any advice would be
appreciated.
Thank you, Anne
Dear Anne,
Gagging is a natural reflex, but the trick is to learn how to control
the reflex. There are a couple of things you can do to help.
First, pull your tongue forward when you have something delectable
pressing at the back of your throat. I practice with a dildo every
couple of days. With a dildo, you have the ability to instantly pull
it out if you need to. That is good when you are learning.
Second. If you make swallowing motions with your tongue and mouth,
it seems to help control the reflex. Again, to swallow, you need to
bring your tongue as far forward in your mouth as you can. The swallowing
reflexes are already programmed into you so that you can swallow your
food. Mother Nature only intends you to gag when you are not swallowing.
So by "swallowing" your man's penis, you are tricking mother
nature, in a very good way.
So, go buy a good dildo that is about the same size as your man's
penis, and then practice with it until you have it figured out.
I guess I should add that I LOVE sucking on my man's penis, especially
if I can catch him while he is soft and pliable. That way I can swallow
him while soft and keep him down my throat, breathing through my nose
until he gets hard!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice |
|
A
s k D e n i
Got a question
about sex?
email Deni
here
|
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| Enjoying
Bellybuttons |
|
Dear Deni, I just
wanted to know if you think it's normal or ok for a man to have sexual
fantasies about womens naked bellie's. I love female bellybuttons
and thinking about women wearing bellybaring clothing or women kissing
eachothers bellies is very erotic. Have you ever heard of this type
of thing before?
Mike
Dear Mike,
Navels! Yes, navels are a timeless and universal sexual stimulus.
There are many verses in the bible telling of King Xerxes the Great,
King David, David's wise son Solomon, and others, about their fascination
with navels.
In fact, there are many biblical scholars that believe that the references
to a woman's navel was often the same as referring to her pussy!
All you have to do is to look at length of the popularity of the recent
clothing fashion trend of displaying a woman's navel, or bare mid-riff,
to know that a woman's navel is a sexual thing.
Centuries of Chinese, Japanese, Indian, and Egyptian art are filled
with depictions of navels.
Personally, I love to kiss, suckle, and caress a person's navel, whether
they be male or female. There is something so deeply erotic about
enjoying a person's navel . . . . . before moving on down to their
other interesting shapes!
Thanks for writing!
Deni,
Samarel Sex Guide Editor
Better
Sex Advice
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